I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
