Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
