I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
