Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Actions speak louder than pants.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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