my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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