Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
