talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
