can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Randomize
