We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
