Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
