Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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