is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
