D3 body, D1 cock
someone owes me an orgasm
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
