I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
