I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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