I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
