The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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