no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
