Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
