the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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