Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
