Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
BRING THE BAGELS
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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