Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
