But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
