You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
