im six kinds of drunk right now
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
