Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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