... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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