Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
