Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
