I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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