I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
