Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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