The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
