This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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