U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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