thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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