I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
