My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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