It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
