Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
