I am puke
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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