I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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