I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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