Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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