The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
