Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
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