I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
