Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's never too late to be topless.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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