She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
