Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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