He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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