i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
