Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
