Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
