It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
