i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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