the condom got lost in my hair
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
