even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize