This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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