it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
