the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize