I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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