"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
