I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
