You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
