is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
