If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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