do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
