Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
