he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
