Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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