Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
