I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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