Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
